She Looks Away

[Ego Orpheus, vidi quomodo me in ipsis infernorum profundis dilexeris. Et tu reminisci, video me te semper dilexisse, etsi te in inferni profundis videre non poteram.]

The night had fallen. Shanaya witnessed; she saw the curses of the past haunt Orpheus like a deadly forest where he must not be sought, for he seemed oblivious to the dangers.

She wished Orpheus would know that in all his thoughts, her sadness pervaded like the darkness of eternity, the sorrowful lament that he must not see. Her desires were woven in ivies, dead stars, and fragile wildflowers that blossomed when he played the incandescent flute by the black river.

She sometimes imagined if Orpheus ever wanted to sleep. She conspired with the birds so that she could sing a lullaby, but the endless wake of dead bodies floating in the black river did not let her rest.

He seemed distant when he disappeared into the darkness, but she could perceive a familiar refrain of melancholy that waded like floating serpents, intertwined with the air she breathed, as if her hair was undone by the flute. 

She also imagined if Orpheus dreamed of other women, for she denied that he could love anyone else with such insanity. When he played the flute, she could see the shadow of vice swirl, maybe the only woman she envied.

She was virtue, and she could never understand why vice would fall in love with Orpheus. She witnessed the dark rituals in the woods, where Orpheus was sought by fairies who did not think he existed.

His mournful desolation seemed deliberate, for he never spoke to anyone, not even her. Shanaya decided that she would look away and let him find her, even if she concealed herself. She hid her face among the women who were returning to heaven, as the halo of Orpheus seemed to illuminate every corner of hell.

Thus was the sorrow of the woman when she knew Orpheus could not see her.

Et tu, salvusne redibis?

Estne receptum id quod infernorum est?

Et tu, qui salvus es, sancta mihi sanxisti.

Apparuit serpens; invoco aquam noctis, animam meam.

Illusio musica, intono descensum sui emancipati.

Demetere acratos mortuorum est se a profunda abstinere memoria.

 

Desolati Orpheus, Te Desolatus Mi Est

Salus mea reddita est mihi; apparuit in crypta, in crypta noctis;

Ergo profundus tristis.

 

अपि त्वं कुशलं प्रत्यागमिष्यसि?
किं तद् गृहीतं यद् पातालस्य अस्ति?
त्वं च, यः रक्षितः असि, मम पवित्राणि वस्तुनि पूजितवान्।
सर्पः प्रादुरभूत्; अहं निशामयम् आव्हायामि, मम आत्मानम्।
संगीत-माया, अहं मुक्त-आत्मनः अवरोहणं गायमि।
मृतानां दुर्बलानां संहारः गम्भीर-स्मृतेः दूरे गमनम् अस्ति।

हे विषण्ण आर्फीयस्, अहम् एव तव शून्यता अस्मि।
मम मुक्तिः मह्यम् प्रतिदर्शिता; सा श्यामा नरकं प्रादुरासीत्। सा एव रात्रिः।
अतः, प्रगाढः शोकः।