Her Silent Tears

[ Senex sum, Orpheus sum, et te cognovi ex quo mihi occulta eras. Te ex imo corde amavi, numquam sciens utrum me redamatura esses. Meministine quando primum convenimus? ]

When the earth was yet unsung, Shanaya witnessed the descent of Orpheus, from desires to be a tree, and the eight serpentine rivers that were rooted in dissolution. 

She saw the ocean not as a distance, but as a stranger who once disappeared like the sunset. She did not want to intervene, for the loneliness was the only song she ever believed in. The lament of Orpheus did not break her heart, for her disdain for mortal love seemed to be absolute.

Still, she secretly witnessed the pale halo of Orpheus, which was, as it were, like a never-ending curse of death. 

She could easily forsake it all, but she had nowhere to go. Shanaya denied that even she was captivated by his music, which floated like an unsaid whisper, like the moonlight serenading her silent tears.

She did not want to live, but she was immortal. She did not want to die, but Orpheus was still far from her. The flowers in her garden seemed meaningless, for no one knew that she yearned for his kiss, for him to come, come to the rescue.  

On certain nights, when the sorrow seemed too heavy to bear, her veena ached with memories that she had never realized existed. As the clouds drifted in early morning rain, she could hear a lonely bird sing once, and then disappear.

Thus was the lament of the woman, who could never confess her love for Orpheus.

Te captore, musice, moribundo carmini astiti

Te intuens, fateri potui me te amare

Tu, Orpheu, qui spectrum es salicis plorantis,

serpentem metamorphoseos vidi. Arcturi est, corporea est, et tu,

serpens aeterni inferni!

Si hic amor est, si sensus meos astrales sentis,

in insomnia trystium meorum...Reditus est, a morte liberatio est, et tu, senti me!

 

त्वया वशीकृता, हे वंशिक, गीतस्य साक्षिणी अहमतिष्ठम्।

त्वाम् आलोक्य, मयि त्वत्प्रेमाणं प्रकटीकर्तुं समर्था अभवम्।

हे आर्फीयस, त्वं शोकाकुलवृक्षस्य च्छायारूपोऽसि, मया रूपान्तरणशीलः सर्पो दृष्टः।

एतत् स्वातेः नक्षत्रस्य अस्ति, मूर्तिमद् भवति, त्वं च नित्यपातालस्य भुजङ्गः!

यद्येषः प्रेम, यदि त्वं मम आकाशीयं भावं जानासि, मम रहस्य-सङ्गमानां निद्राविहीनतायाम्...

पुनरावृत्तिरस्ति, मृत्योः मुक्तिरस्ति, तस्मात् त्वं माम् अनुभव!