[ Ego, Orpheus, fēminae vātēs nōn eram. ]
She was keen on romancing her feelings like
they were distant songs, since she was in love. Although Shanaya did not harbor
any ill will toward him, she was unable to understand her own dark side, which
seemed to elude her like her desire to meet Orpheus in person.
Also, she believed that her sister might betray
or berate Orpheus, something that she could never approve of. It was never in
her nature to betray anyone, even more so the only love in her life! Yet, she
was still impulsively inclined to believe that Orpheus would not find her in
the end, because she had seen all other suitors fail miserably at fulfilling
her stringent conditions.
If not for the love of Vice, every one of these
men would have perished under her curse, an evil that she could not fully
control, as such. Although none of them were cognizant of her magical presence,
the command of Virtue was an undeniable edict that invisibly set the entropy of hell to work towards an end.
However, Vice, being rebellious, had her own
complaints that she could not absolve, and hence was unable to understand her
stance with respect to her sister. Nonetheless, she was always in complete confidence
of her lightness, speaking in whispers to the very heart of being pure, and of
the sorrow of the fall of man from paradise. It was as if she did not exist, as
a dream does not seem to exist, yet all the prisoners still wanted to be in
heaven, where she did not allow anyone.
However, she was doubtful if Orpheus wanted to
return to the lightness of being! He seemed musically reliant on resolving the
finer details of absolution that could create a perfect hell, but he did not
seem to travel in the direction of heaven. He was not a prophet, and neither
was he eager to fill his soul with hell’s tallies!
Instead, to her surprise, she observed that he
was constructing the very idea that heaven and hell both belonged to him, and still
he was indifferent and alone. It was as if he was saddened to know that Sandhya
did not love him, yet even so, he wanted her to return to his pure heart, so
that they could create a perfect darkness of their own and call it heaven!
Shanaya could not help but smile at her own
deception, as Orpheus could not recognize her whispers and often thought that
he was silently thinking about Sandhya, when in reality, it was she who dwelled
in the purity of his heart.
She could see that Sandhya did not betray her by
not revealing to Orpheus that it was her sister who spoke to him in silent
thoughts. She did not say that it was her either! Sometimes, it seemed to her,
that they were speaking in one voice to the one man who could really listen to
them.
Thus was the recollection of the woman when she
wanted to say how much she missed Orpheus, yet she was still unsure if he would
be able to face her inability to express feelings of romance when he needed it
most.
Obscūrus dēscendit meus ad adytum
amōris
Orcī maestum corpus umbrārum
cōnfūsiō est
Allēviās cor meum, tū es somnus quī appāruit
mihi
मम प्रियः तिमिरमयः मदनस्यान्तर्गृहं प्रत्यवरोहति ।
यमराजस्य विषादपूर्णं शरीरं छायानां संमिश्रणमस्ति ॥
त्वं मम हृदयं लघूकरोषि, त्वमेव स स्वप्नः यो मह्यं प्रादुरभूत् ॥
* Latin and Sanskrit written with the help of AI.
