[ Ego, Orpheus, nescius eram eam
mē dīligere. ]
The far sun was setting within the heart of the
forest, and Shanaya could still perceive the flute of Orpheus, slowly
disappearing into the dusk. The affair of the sun and the dusk strangely made
her sad, as she was suddenly reminded of her own loneliness.
She was reminded by the mirror that Orpheus was
still not aware of her, although she knew that she had not chosen to reveal
herself, a willful predicament that might as well be her destiny. Even so, she
wished that her lover would take notice of her presence, despite that she had
concealed herself from him.
Also, she could feel that Sandhya was not
letting her touch those regions of her mind that were obscured by negativity. Virtue
understood that Sandhya did not want to talk with her as much as she wanted to,
a rejection that made her even more detached.
Yet, she could never stay away from her oneness
with her sister that she could not deny for anything, even for envy! Since
Orpheus was closer to Sandhya, she strongly felt that if not by her, she would
never be able to come closer to him, a wish that held her cruel heart closer to
love than ever.
On one hand, she was deeply enamored with
Orpheus. On the other hand, she hated him for ignoring her for so long. Has she
not spoken to him in morning flowers? Has she not followed him like a shadow ever
since she fell in love with him? She could feel the tears well up, yet she
would never cry, for she did not want him to find her as a shadow of her
sister. On thinking like this, she suddenly realized that her own shadow was
slowly encircling her sister and her lover, offering her glimpses of an evil
power that she did not fully understand.
She could feel him kiss her, and how Sandhya had
worn a soft black dress for the evening. She wore a sapphire pendant that seemed to
illuminate her mirror like a hellish spell. She wanted to ask Sandhya if she could
have that pendant, which she suspected had been given to her by him tonight.
Unlike Sandhya, she felt compelled to love
Orpheus, a bridal urge that made her yearn for him with everything she had. She
could feel her breathing becoming more feverish beneath her pink satin, and as she
watched her lover kiss her sister, she could almost feel that he was winning
over her hatred, for she never knew a kiss could be so beautiful!
She was waiting for the sun to rise again, so
that she could once again let Orpheus know how much she wanted him to come
closer, a secret wish that she did not want to even share with her sister. She
wanted to tell him that his quest was almost at the end, and that he shall
redeem himself from her curse, if not for her love.
Thus was the confession of the woman when she
wrote down her feelings for her lover on a blank page, not leaving the mirror that
was set in silent pearls absorbing the moonlight.
Sērā nocte per umbrās serpente ad inferōs,
amōrem dīmissum
Trīstī invidiā meā, cor meum sentit allēviārī
ad invidiam tuam
Artis tormenta tū, artis tormentīs mihi in
sōliloquiīs
Redime mē ut abstineam, redime tē ad inferna
dēgressum.
निशीथे, पातालोलकं प्रति सर्पन्त्यां छायायाम्, प्रेमा विसृष्टः ।
मम शोकाकुलेन द्वेषेण, तवेर्ष्यां प्रति मम हृदयं लघूभवति ॥
त्वमेव कलायाः यातनाः, मह्यं कलायाः यातनाः एकभाषणेषु वर्तन्ते ।
मां त्रायस्व यथा अहं विरमेयम्, आत्मानं त्रायस्व यः पातालोलकं
प्रत्यवरूढः ॥
* Latin and Sanskrit written with the help of AI.




